My Apologies Mr. Dafoe

I try not to be a judgmental person.

Try being the key word in that sentence.

I do judge people.

I judge people that say "I seen" instead of "I saw"

I judge people that wear tights as pants

(jeggings are ok. tights are NOT OK)

I judge people who shave their dogs and then buy them sweaters.

And I judge Willem Dafoe's face.

It just doesn't make sense

and it creeps me out.

I feel really bad that I judge Willem Dafoe.

He's a great actor, and he's never done anything to offend me.

Ever.

But there's just something about his face 

that just makes me uncomfortable.

Maybe it's his abnormally protrusive jaw,

maybe it's his crazy cheekbones,

or maybe it's how his eyes kind of bug out all the time.

I really don't know what my problem is.

But his face doesn't make any sense. 

It's like the top of his head is normal, but then he has the jaw and mouth of a giant man just shoved onto the bottom half of his face. 

And he always looks like he's secretly plotting your death.

When he's angry

When he's happy

When he look sideways

And especially when he looks like this

That face isn't normal.

Not even a little bit.

And I feel like an awful person for disliking him based solely on his face, but I just can't help it!

HIS FACE IS JUST SO WEIRD!

It's like when you see a car crash, and you're horrified, and shocked, but you just can't look away. 

You're sucked in

and you can't escape.

And even after it's gone, after you drive past the smashed up cars and continue on your way, you know it's still there.

Willem Dafoe's face

is always there.

Am I an awful person?

Maybe I am.

Maybe Willem Dafoe is actually the coolest person in the world, and we were supposed to be BFF's and go shopping and to the zoo together and now we can't because I'm weird and shallow.

I'm sorry Willem.
I'm sorry I don't want to go to the zoo with you because your face is weird and also because you're an old man.

But I guess that's just the way it has to be.

The End