As I said in my last post, I have been back at Utah State for a little over a month now; being back on campus has reintroduced me to many unspoken rituals that the students here all participate in. There are many of these rituals, but my favorite one is what I have come to call the
Eye Contact Tango
To take part in an Eye Contact Tango (or ECT for short)
just place yourself walking in a direction in which you will encounter people walking past you in the opposite direction.
As soon as the two of you are close enough to make out each other's facial features, the ECT has begun.
There are many different ways to style your ECT, if you want to appear shy yet interested in your partner; make eye contact for a brief moment, blush and look down at your feet, and then right before you pass each other look up and make eye contact again, this time with a small flirtatious smile.
If you want to unnerve your partner; stare them down. As soon as you can see their eyes, lock onto them and stare deep into their soul until they look away or pass you. Whichever comes first.
For girls that want to appear saucy and confident, I recommend the following approach:
Make eye contact soon after arriving in the correct range, hold it for a second or two, give your partner a quick wink, and then walk right on by.
If you find yourself approaching a tango that you do not want to participate in, there are a few ways to escape:
Check your phone until you pass the other person
Wear sunglasses
Become suddenly fascinated with the ground
Refuse to make eye contact
Stop and tie your shoe
Start coughing and look the other way
Pretend you are crying so no one can make eye contact with you without feeling awkward
Run away
Pretend to faint
Give em The Face
In my experience, all of these will give you a reprieve from any undesirable tango you are confronted with.
Now my young grasshoppers, go out into the world and find some eye contact tangos of your own. Unless you walk by a creeper.
Then just run away.
The End.
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