Why I'm a Widow. But Not Really.

I have this ring. Technically it's an engagement ring. But not fer realz. One of my friends from High School bought a huge bag of crappy rings from the dollar store and went around proposing to every girl he knew. I like weird stuff like that, so I wear the ring all the time. And I always wear it on my ring finger. And sometimes it ends up on my left ring finger.


The other day, my neighbor Miguel came over to have a friendly chat. I was talking to him, and he noticed that I had a ring on my left ring finger. He asked me what that was all about, and before I could react my roommate Elise said. " Oh yes, Brittany is eloping. Didn't you know?"


So then, we made up this huge story about the man I was eloping with. Who we decided to name Edwin. I like to call him Incredwin, because he's a very incredible man. 

( All physical Similarites to "Tangled's" Flynn Ryder are purely coincidental )

Edwin is amazing. He graduated from High School when he was 12. He then spent 7 years in the Peace Corps in Spain. He left Spain because he had done all the service there was to do. Spain is now a utopian society because of him. I met him hiking. I fell and twisted my ankle, he found me and carried me back to the trailhead. After that, we were blissfully in love. Baby, He's my wonderboy. (If you know what that's from, we are best friends)

So, Incredwin and I were going to elope to Spain, where he was offered the position of High-Supreme-Ruler-King. But then, the unthinkable happened. He was volunteering on a turkey farm in St. George, when a crazy psycho killer turkey snuck up on him and stabbed his eyes out. My poor dear man was in the hospital with no eyes and then he caught the avian flu. And died.

Now I am a poor 19 year old widow. 

It's a hard knock life.

So it goes.