The Tale of the Suicidal Fish

Here's the news,

My dadd's surgery? It went awesome.

His clavacle is now reattached to his shoulder

and he has a super cool sling.

And he's on lots of drugs, which means he's been having a LOT of fun playing Lego video games.

Here's more news,

My sister Kaitlyn came home yesterday with two little teeny fish that one of her friends didn't want anymore.

If you know anything about me, you will know that I

FETCHING LOVE FISH

So I was really excited.

I put them in a super cute vase/bowl with super cute rocks at the bottom, and helped my sister name them.

I really wanted to call them Kili and Fili after the dwarves from The Hobbit (BTW have you seen the trailer???) 

But Kaitlyn didn't really like that.

So.

After much deliberation we named the Izzy and Andrea after the two amazing German Exchange Students that we had live with us for a little while. They were adorable, and we miss them a lot.

After we named them, weird things started happening.

Firstly, I was just walking past their little fishbowl/vase and I tapped on the glass like I always do with my fish back in Logan. Andrea flipped a freakig biscuit. I guess she thought she was being attacked by aliens or raped by a dolphin because she tried to jump to her death and landed flopping around on the table.

Luckily, I quickly scooped her up and put her back in the bowl.

Then I emptied a bunch of the water out so she couldn't jump out again.

The rest of the night proved uneventful fishwise. We rented Crazy Stupid Love and it became my new favorite movie and made me fall even more madly in love with Ryan Gosling. I know it's hard to believe that he can get any sexier after The Notebook, but I assure you it can be done.

This morning I was rudely awakened by my sister and had to fight tooth and nail to stay in my nice warm bed. She finally have up a little bit and went upstairs where she started freaking out about her fish.

Apparantly Andrea was still traumatized about the possibility of dolphin rape and really didn't want to live because she had some how burrowed under all the little rocks at the bottom of the bowl and gotten trapped. I decided I could justify getting out of bed to save the life of a fish, and rushed to help.

My youngest sister Annika was attempting to pull out all of the rocks on top of Andrea with some salad tongs.

Amatuer.

I pulled out all of those rocks with my bear hands

( Yes, I used "bear" on purpose )

And I freed that little suicidal fish.

Not going to lie, I felt a little bit like Superman.

Or at least Aquaman.

It rocked.

The End.