Dog vs Mailman. A Ginger's Thoughts.

I've been home a lot these past few weeks.

A lot.

I usually pass my days with a mixture of sleeping, reading, ukulele-ing, cleaning, and adventureing; but there is one thing that I witness every day.

 Except Sundays and national holidays.

Every day at approximately 12:02 pm, the mailman comes to my house, puts the mail in my mailbox, and then walks away.

That's all he does.

Ever.

He's not a menacing man, he's actually quite nice, he never does anything offensive or frightening- he's just your typical man.

But for some unknown reason,

My dog hates him with a deep, fiery, passion.

I swear, she can smell him coming from a block away and when she does she gets all tense, her face goes all squinty and she starts growling.

Then

As soon as he's in sight, she starts barking like she's in a fight to the death with Katniss Everdeen. Or maybe a wolf or something. 

.....

There's just a lot of barking....

And then it's like the freaking Doppler effect! Except the closer he gets, the louder and higher pitched her barking is.

It's a little ridiculous

But it lead me to ponder....

Why exactly do dogs hate the mailman so much?

After much deliberation, here's the reasons I came up with:

1. Over decades of performing the simple, mundane, boring task of placing letters in mailboxes, Mailmen have learned to whistle a really annoying song so high that only dogs can hear it.
2. Mailmen carry a talisman of evil in their little bags. They receive this talisman in a deal they make with the devil to help them to bear the unpleasantries of being a mailman.
3. Their cologne is made out of cat pheremones.
4. Mailmen are secretly cats in robotic suits.
5. Mailmen are secretly evil aliens in robotic suits. Or just ones that look like humans.
6. Pavlov also conditioned his dogs to hate mailmen. This hatred was passed along via the "Twilight Bark" as in the movie '100 And 1 Dalmatians' and over the years spread globally.
7. Dogs really hate the fact that they never get any mail.
8. The first mailman in the world pretended to throw a ball for each dog he encountered, but did that thing where you don't really throw it and then laugh at the dog for being stupid. Dogs have had a deep hatred for mailmen ever since.
9. When no one is home, mailmen sneak into houses and steal all the dog treats. Then he makes the dog watch as he throws them away while laughing maliciously.
10. Mailmen are part of a secret order that is trying to take over the world. Dogs know this, and have sworn to do their utmost to stop them. 

I know that the REAL reason is probably just that dogs hate when people cross into their territory  or something.... but I think these reasons are much more exciting. 

What about you guys? Do you have any better ideas?

Also, what do think the deal is with Kangaroos?

Why do they want to box with us all the time and more importantly

Who taught them to box???

My name is Brittany Daniels

And I approve this message.