Liebster!

So, my BFFFFFFFFF Lara Jean from 

The New World 

nominated me for a  LIEBSTER AWARD!

I thought a Liebster was the way people with fun accents say Lobster, but apparently it's an award for blogs with under 200 followers. 

My li'l blog has never been nominated for anything before! 

So this is perty exciting!

According to the Liebster Lawbook I now have to:

• Tell you 11 things about myself
• Answer 11 question from the person who nominated me
• Make up 11 questions for 11 blogs that I will nominate

I wonder why it's 11 things and not 10. 

Maybe because it's November

Or something.

Anywhooooooooooooooo

Here goes.

{things about me}

1.  My second toe is longer than my big toe
2.  My favorite person in The Avengers is Loki
3.  I can do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xcuixdq6h1g
4.   Over the summer, I spent most of my time as the train driver at Lagoon and I loved it. I got to wear cute overalls and spend all day looking at tigers and antelope and other animals like such as.
5. My feet have never left American soil except for when they're on American sidewalk or when I jump really high.
6. When I was 8, my grandparents took me to the circus and they made me kiss a clown. He was crying and smiling at the same time and that really freaked me out. I don't know if I've ever recovered...
7. I really really really really really really love elephants.
8. I had my first boyfriend in kindergarten. His name was Gentry. When we played Star Wars at recess all the other boys wanted to be Luke, but he wanted to be Han Solo. I loved him. He knew.
9. I've always been terrified of Furbys
10. My favorite band is currently Steam Powered Giraffe. They are a steampunk group that pretend to be animatronic robots. I'm not even making this up. They're tote's legit.
11. My favorite band used to be Alestorm. A Scottish metal band that only sings about pirates. I'm not making these guys up either. My favorite songs are Keelhauled and Nancy the Tavern Wench.

Now I get to answer Lara Jean's questions!

1. Favorite time of day?- Not morning. 
2. What's the best popsicle? (POPSICLE not ice cream)- The kind that are patriotic colored and shaped like rockets. Merica. 
3. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be and why?- Somewhere in Africa where I could be warm, feed hungry people, and ride an elephant.
4. What inspires you to blog? Well, at first it was to keep in touch with my bff's Jackie and Lara, but after a while I found out that other people were reading it and that they liked it. So now, I blog for my friends and my followers and I try to tell them things that will make them laugh. I just like making people happy.
5. What is your dream pet? A hedgehog. I love hedgehogs. I'm studying elementary education, and when I graduate and have my own classroom I'm going to have a pet hedgehog named Benedict Martin.
6. What is your passion? I love a lot of things, but I guess my biggest passion right now is for Big Band Swing dancing. I've been doing it for almost three years now, and I just can't get enough of it. It's my favorite.
7. Who is your cellphone service provider? T-mobile. I think the T stands for Terrence, but don't quote me on that.
8. What is your biggest pet peeve? Snooki.
9. What is Your favorite perfume scent? Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush "Honeydo" scent. I don't think they even make it anymore, but holy poop on toast it smells like spring and summer and sunshine and melons. 
10. Something you've always wanted to learn? To break dance. 
11. Who's your very best friend? I'm super lucky because I have so many great friends. I have my sisters, and then I have Lara Jean, Jacqueline Loveland, Haydn Owens, and more great friends than I can count. 

So. That's it for me.

My Liebster moment of fame.

Now it's your turn!

I'm supposed to pick 11 blogs and nominate them for a Liebster, but I honestly can't name 11 blogs so I'm opening this up to anybody! 

Here's my 11 questions to you!

1. What flavor of jam is your favorite?
2. If you were given the chance to either attend Hogwarts or Star Fleet Academy what would you choose?
3. Who would win in a fight, Liam Neeson or Chuck Norris?
4. What is your favorite song?
5. What is you favorite part of Disneyland?
6. On a scale of 1 to Betty Crocker, how good of a cook are you?
7. What is your favorite book and why?
8. Summarize yourself in five words
9.  Name three things that frighten you?
10. How good are you at karate?
11. What is your favorite thing about blogging?

I don't really know what the point of the Liebster thing is, I don't know if there's an actual "prize" or anything- but answering questions is always fun! 

 

If you guys ever have questions for me, or have something specific you want me to write about just let me know. I'm always looking for ideas!

Happy Halloween you guys!!

The End

My Apologies Mr. Dafoe

I try not to be a judgmental person.

Try being the key word in that sentence.

I do judge people.

I judge people that say "I seen" instead of "I saw"

I judge people that wear tights as pants

(jeggings are ok. tights are NOT OK)

I judge people who shave their dogs and then buy them sweaters.

And I judge Willem Dafoe's face.

It just doesn't make sense

and it creeps me out.

I feel really bad that I judge Willem Dafoe.

He's a great actor, and he's never done anything to offend me.

Ever.

But there's just something about his face 

that just makes me uncomfortable.

Maybe it's his abnormally protrusive jaw,

maybe it's his crazy cheekbones,

or maybe it's how his eyes kind of bug out all the time.

I really don't know what my problem is.

But his face doesn't make any sense. 

It's like the top of his head is normal, but then he has the jaw and mouth of a giant man just shoved onto the bottom half of his face. 

And he always looks like he's secretly plotting your death.

When he's angry

When he's happy

When he look sideways

And especially when he looks like this

That face isn't normal.

Not even a little bit.

And I feel like an awful person for disliking him based solely on his face, but I just can't help it!

HIS FACE IS JUST SO WEIRD!

It's like when you see a car crash, and you're horrified, and shocked, but you just can't look away. 

You're sucked in

and you can't escape.

And even after it's gone, after you drive past the smashed up cars and continue on your way, you know it's still there.

Willem Dafoe's face

is always there.

Am I an awful person?

Maybe I am.

Maybe Willem Dafoe is actually the coolest person in the world, and we were supposed to be BFF's and go shopping and to the zoo together and now we can't because I'm weird and shallow.

I'm sorry Willem.
I'm sorry I don't want to go to the zoo with you because your face is weird and also because you're an old man.

But I guess that's just the way it has to be.

The End

My Shoe-marang

I, being a female, suffer from a very serious dilemma.

I get too attached to my shoes.

I fall in love with them at the store,
and then once they're mine they go everywhere I go
they take part in all my adventures.
They say you can't judge a man until you've walked a mile in their shoes because only shoes know exactly where you've been and what you've been through because your shoes have been there with you.

I have one pair of shoes that over the past few years have gone many places with me.

The Hunger Games premiere

The Festival of Colors

And they've taken me on adventures from Ogden to Iowa.

We've been through a lot these shoes and me.

This last weekend, I was headed home and I had these shoes balanced fairly precariously on top of my embarrassingly large pile of laundry. I carried everything down the stairs and out to my friend's car, and somewhere between my apartment and my parent's house in Ogden one of the shoes was AWOL.

I was very distressed; these shoes were my friends and for one of them to just be gone? It was very sad indeed. 

 I figured that my shoe had fallen out of the car somewhere, and that it could be anywhere from Logan to Ogden, and who could know if I would ever see it again.

I came back to Logan with a lonely shoe and a heavy heart. My neighbors came over and I explained to them my sorrow over my loss. One of them, said jokingly to the other, 

"I bet it's that shoe we saw outside on our way home from church!"

I inquired about this shoe and they informed me that there was a lone shoe that had been residing on the grass outside our apartment building all weekend. I asked what kind of shoe it was, but seeing as they were boys they could offer me no information other than that the shoe was brown. 

Since even that meager description somewhat matched my missing shoe, I started to hope. I asked them if they could go down and get it for me, since they knew where it was. One of them went down, and when he returned

He was holding my lost shoe.

It was a sweet reunion.

My shoe was a little worse for wear, it had fallen out in the parking lot and looked like it might have been run over by a car once or twice, but I thought it had never looked better.

It felt like one of those moments in those awful "Incredible Journey" movies where the ragtag band of animals that have just conquered the great outdoors and defied certain death finally step on top of the hill and they're all backlit by the sun and their family sees them but can't believe their eyes because according to all reason these animals should be dead but they aren't because that would have been a horribly depressing movie.

Imagine that.

But with a shoe.

My shoe conquered the wilderness, and against all odds made it home safely.

It is now dubbed my shoe-marang.

The End

The Eye-Contact Tango

As I said in my last post, I have been back at Utah State for a little over a month now; being back on campus has reintroduced me to many unspoken rituals that the students here all participate in. There are many of these rituals, but my favorite one is what I have come to call the

Eye Contact Tango

To take part in an Eye Contact Tango (or ECT for short) 

just place yourself walking in a direction in which you will encounter people walking past you in the opposite direction.

As soon as the two of you are close enough to make out each other's facial features, the ECT has begun. 

There are many different ways to style your ECT, if you want to appear shy yet interested in your partner; make eye contact for a brief moment, blush and look down at your feet, and then right before you pass each other look up and make eye contact again, this time with a small flirtatious smile.

If you want to unnerve your partner; stare them down. As soon as you can see their eyes, lock onto them and stare deep into their soul until they look away or pass you. Whichever comes first.

For girls that want to appear saucy and confident, I recommend the following approach:

Make eye contact soon after arriving in the correct range, hold it for a second or two, give your partner a quick wink, and then walk right on by. 

If you find yourself approaching a tango that you do not want to participate in, there are a few ways to escape:

Check your phone until you pass the other person

Wear sunglasses

Become suddenly fascinated with the ground

Refuse to make eye contact

Stop and tie your shoe

Start coughing and look the other way

Pretend you are crying so no one can make eye contact with you without feeling awkward

Run away

Pretend to faint

Give em The Face

In my experience, all of these will give you a reprieve from any undesirable tango you are confronted with.

Now my young grasshoppers, go out into the world and find some eye contact tangos of your own. Unless you walk by a creeper.

Then just run away.

The End.

Squirrel Feuds.

So, this one time, I didn't blog for like three months.

And the whole world plunged into a deep depression. Caterpillars refused to come out of their cocoons, flowers wilted and died, and Robert Downey Jr. got hurt on the set of Iron man 3.

Just kidding. 

None of those happened.

Except Robert Downey Jr. really did get hurt on the set of Iron man 3. Not very bad. But it happened.

But really.

The world went on, because that's just what the world does.

Summer began it's slow change into fall, and I moved back to Logan and started my third year at Utah State.

I love Utah State.

Like totally 100 percent for real, true love.

If it was a man, I would marry it.

Twice.

I'm living in a different apartment complex this year, it's called Bridgerland, which is a little misleading because there are no bridges here. But it's still pretty cool.

There is a little canal behind my building and these adorable ducks live there. 

Sometimes I share my Pringles with them.

We're tote's bffs.

Except there is this one really mean white one that sounds like the Joker doing an evil laugh when he quacks. 

Which is a lot.

There is also this squirrel that lives in a tree that I pass every day on my way to campus. For a while, we were friends. I would walk past him, he would chatter at me in the cute little way that squirrels do, and I would smile and wave and sometimes chatter back in that crazy way I do- because unlike Disney Movies would have me believe- it is not normal to talk to random animals you meet on the way to campus.

But I do it anyway.

Because that's just how I am.

Now, one day, I was walking under the squirrel's tree, and I could hear him chattering away in there when all of a sudden I felt something small and very hard hit the back of my head. Now, there was no one else around, just me and the squirrel.

And the crab apple it had just thrown at my head.

That's right.

For no reason whatsoever, this squirrel that I thought was my friend, had just chucked nasty fruit at my head.

I was so sad.

Then, I was so mad.

What right did this squirrel have to get angry at me?

I had been nothing but nice to this rodent, and he has the gall to chuck crab apples at me?

No sir. NOT IN MY HOUSE!

So now, me and squirrels have a feud.

The End.