29 Plans.

So, I have a plan.

Ladies.

And gentlemen.

But mostly ladies, I don't think very many gentlemen actually read this....

My plan is this:

Since I go through pretty sporatic posting periods

I have decided

To commit more to this blog

and write a post for every day in February.

29

straight days

of my life.

A day may come when the courage of men fails. When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship.

BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!!!!!!!

(Sorry, I just felt like I need some epicness)

So, look forward to hearing from me for the next 29 days.

Or at the very least look sideways.

The End.



People In Masks Should Not Be Trusted.

Last night was the most

terrifying

horrifying

terrorizing

experience of my whole entire life.

Like, horror movie terrifying.

It was a little before two, I had just gotten ready for bed

my roommate Haydn was in the shower

and all my other roommates were asleep.

I was sitting on my bed reading "He's Just Not That Into You"

when out of nowhere I heard a scream.

One of those long, shrill, blood-curdling screams

that makes your heart stop

and your stomach sink like a rock.

My roommates had been watching a scary movie earlier, so I thought they had just freaked each other out, but then I saw a freaky-looking shadow move down the hall towards my bedroom.

Then a man came in, he was wearing a hoodie and he had a mannequin head on top of his head so I couldn't see his face.

He just came into my room and stood there at the foot of my bed.

Just stood there.

And I don't really even know what I was thinking, but at first I thought it was one of my friends. So I asked him if he was, and he shook his head no.

So then I told him to get out of my house.

So he turned around, walked down the stairs, and left.

I followed him down, and locked my door behind him.

And then I kind of went to pieces.

People shouldn't just go into other people's houses willy-nilly.

Especially at two in the morning.

Especially EVER!

I don't know what kind of sick person thinks that would be funny, but I couldn't stop shaking for almost an hour afterwards.

It was the scariest thing ever to happen to me.

The End.



Oh. The Horror.

I have had a LOT of bad experiences with guys.

You think I'm exaggerating?

I'm not.

I had all of 3 boyfriends in High School.

Mostly they were silly little flings,

but all-in-all my dating experiences in high school weren't bad.

Then.

I went to college.

Now, I've seen the movies.

I know what's supposed to happen,

you meet a cute guy at the library, or at the bookstore, or in the apartment down the hall

You flirt shamelessly,

make out a lot

and then break it off once you meet someone new.

I was excited.

I just really like boys.

But I am NOT a slut!

Anyways, I settled in to my new college skin... and I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And I never did meet that cute guy at the library,

I saw plenty of them

But I never talked to them.

And nothing ever happened.

Nothing good anyway.

There was Canteen-Filler Mike.

The fake-boyfriend from down the hall.

Playing-Me-And-My-BFF-Danny.

Then it was summer.

There was Turkish Stalker #1.

There was Turkish Stalker #2

There were a lot of random Lagoon creepers

Then it was fall.

There was Front-Porch Lenny

There was Creeper-Asian Curtis

There was Douchebag Tyler

There was Random-In-Love-With-Me guy

And then....

There was today.

Earlier in the week, I was riding the shuttle back from campus. I was just minding my own business, thinking about the day, when I looked up and noticed some dude with a mohawk staring at me.

I looked away. Then looked back a few minutes later.

Still looking at me.

Five times it happend, and I started to get creeped out.

But then I got off the shuttle, and started walking home.

He was behind me.

I got to my apartment,

still behind me.

I ran inside and locked the door, and shortly I forgot about Creepy Mohawk man.

Then today, I was sitting on my couch watching Pretty Little Liars, and someone knocked on the door.

I opened it, and there

was

you guessed it

Creepy Mohawk Man.

He said:

"Um. Hi. I followed you home the other day,

and I want you to have this."

He handed me a flower,

and a paper with his number on it.

I said:

"Oh. Thanks!"

And then he left.

It was

So

Weird.

Top that.

I dare You.



The Goings-On

Ok, so the last couple week I've been

Bad Blogger Brittany.

I'm sorry guys.



Will ya forgive me if I tell you some stories?

I think you will.

Even if you're pretending you won't.

So here goes:

School has started.

The Highlights?

My Physics Professor is hilarious.

Her name is Tonya Triplett, and she is my new favorite.

Step aside Bowtie Professor!!!

I spend about half the time in that class actually taking notes, the rest of the time I spend writing down the hilarious things she says

like such as:

"I'm trying not to swear, but I don't need to. This is going to be fabulous!"

"What I really hope, is that this class ruins your whole life."

"Then, instead of being arrogant, you are an idiot."

Maybe this isn't funny to you, but compared to the rest of my professors, this woman is a veritable comedian.

The rest of my classes are decent. I have a 3 hour long Geology class that might kill me, but other than that I think this semester is going to rock off all of my socks.

Here's another story:

My amazing roommate Haydn and I are the biggest nerds on the planet.

No joke, we are very proud to claim that title.

As nerds, we enjoy playing board games that make other people

 (I'm not going to bluntly say that these people are less intelligent than me, but infer what you will)

want to rip their hair out.

Like such as RISK.

So we spent all of Friday playing Lord of The Rings RISK with our neighbors.

Now, I said all day.

Really I meant all night.

The game started around 6 pm.

It ended

after midnight.

That's right folks.

6 Straight Hours Of Risk.

It was awesome.

I expect all of you to be jealous.

ALL OF YOU!!!

Next Story:

I. Got a job.

Yesterday.

That's right, I am once again a hard-working woman.

Make your own Sammiches men. I'mma be calling people on the phone, because my new job is at a call center.

It's called Opinionology.

So far, it's ok.

Last Story:

It's almost my birthday.

That's right folks.

In four short days I will be

20

Years

OLD!!!

That's two decades people!

Two. Whole Decades.

Remember in Madagascar when Marty the Zebra turns 10,

and he goes through a mid-zebra-life crisis and they all end up trapped on an island off the coast of Africa?

Well that was when he was 10.

I'm almost 2 of that.

Africa here I come.

Here goes.

New Year?

Here's the plan.

I ace all my classes, like a boss.

I get a job, like a boss.

I swing dance,...(wait for it)....

like a boss.

It's going to be great.

Also it wouldn't hurt if somewhere in between all that

I happened to meet some adorable/nerdy/well-dressed man that just

happened to sweep me off my feet and then we would just happen

to have a perfect wedding, perfect children, and live a long, perfect life together.

Like Carl and Ellie.

It could happen.

Right?

Ok.

Maybe it couldn't happen.

Maybe I'll end up a loveless old spinster,

with only dogs and countless viewings of Sense and Sensibility to keep me company.

But I don't want to think about that.

I want to think about all the exciting things that will happen to me, probably on accident.

I want to think about the new people I'll meet.

The hot guy I'll sit next to in my English class,

the guy with sweaty hands in my dance class,

the cutie I'll flirt with in the library, never see again, and hope to run into him again for the rest of the semester.

I want to think about all the great nights I'll spend

sitting on the floor watching T.V. with Haydn while we're both pretending that we're doing homework instead of goofing off on pinterest and/or facebook.

Maybe this semester won't be incredibly exciting, not by your terms anyway, but for me - I think it's going to rock.

I'll keep you posted.