The World, According To Me

I have learned a few very important things in my 19 years of living.

One: People with Red Hair are naturally better at everything than normal people, this results in the rest of humanity becoming extremely jealous and resorting to using derogatory terms like "Ginger" and "Carrot Top" to help themselves feel better about their un-cool, un-ginger lives.

Two:  The only people that are better than gingers, are Asians. Which is why a combination of these two will eventually result in a super-human race that I like to call "Ginja's". Their hair will serve as an alternative energy source and they will keep the world safe from those heinous creatures known as "blondes"

(not that I have anything against blondes, but in the future they go kind of crazy)

Three: Chocolate does not make everything better. Two words: 

        Ketchup. Eeeewwwww

Four: Elephants are Incredible. How many creatures do you know that can pick up a bowling ball with their nose??? Plus they never forget anything. I bet they new where Bin Laden was the whole time.

Five: You can learn everything you need to know about life from Calvin and Hobbes. I'm not even kidding. Those comics should be the base curriculum for grades K-4 and then again in High School. We would have a much smarter, politically aware, and more amiable society. Plus we could carry stuffed animals with us everywhere, talk to them like they're alive, and no one would think you were crazy.

Six: If life hands you melons...you're dyslexic.

Seven: There is no good way to answer the question "Are you ticklish?" No matter what you say, people are going to touch you.

Eight: April showers bring May flower. Unless you live in Utah, where it snows in April and you don't get to see your dang flowers until the middle of August. Also the Polar Ice Caps, they only have flowers in late November.

Nine: Just because someone is short, doesn't mean they appreciate being mocked, used as an elbow rest, picked up constantly without permission, or being talked to like a child. Little People have feelings too!!

Ten: You can get through anything, if you have amazing friends. I sure wouldn't have lived through the last 4 years if I didn't have the incredible friends in my life that I do. I love all you guys!!!

The End.