How To Survive Finals Week:

{This Post is Dedicated To My Dear Friend Taylor VanBibber Because He's A Stud And I Love Him}

All right my dear friends,

It is the time of year where I apologize for being such a bad blogger

And also give you some

probably hilarious

possibly effective

tips for surviving finals.

1. Eat Cookie Dough.

Eat a lot of cookie dough. Eat nothing but cookie dough.

Fill your entire fridge with different varieties: Chocolate, chocolate chip, white chocolate macadamia nut, sugar cookies.

Heck, just get a pack of double-stuffed oreos, a tub of frosting, and eat your heart out.

Literally.

{WARNING: MAY INDUCE SUGAR RUSH}

2. Flash Cards.

Take your textbook, and copy every chapter you're going to be tested on, onto flash cards. Important vocabulary words get their own card, but all the filler crap you can just cram onto random cards and then burn them maliciously.

But. Don't burn them in your apartment. Otherwise the smoke detector will go off and since you're short, you'll have to drag a chair all the way across your apartment to turn it off.

3. Watch Big Bang Theory.

While you're studying, while you're not studying, while you're sleeping, while you're not sleeping, while you're eating, and while you're at the grocery store.

This show is dynamite.

Not only is it hilarious, full of adorable adorable ADORABLE nerd-men, but- they talk about smart things.

When you listen to smart things, you get smarter.

Ergo, if you watch Big Bang Theory, you will become a crazy-genius and be able to pass your finals in your sleep.

{WARNING: ATTEMPTING TO TAKE YOUR FINALS IN YOUR SLEEP MAY RESULT IN FAILURE}

4. Keep Your Brain Stimulated.

If you let your brain rest, everything you've been studying will puddle around and fall out of your ears while you're not looking. So, here are a few things that I have found keep me focused and un-puddly.

When you're becoming distracted, start counting your fingers. Backwards. 

Try to tip a cup over with your mind (Like Matilda)

Play Minesweeper (Learn the rules though, it's not just a really hard guessing game...)

5. Listen to Asian Music.

Asians are smart and attractive.

It is a secret theory of mine that they have secret telepathic messages encoded in their music that make you smarter.

Either that, or their trying to brainwash everyone into liking   Hello Kitty.

(I'm not saying that I don't like Hello Kitty, I just think that the asians are just a little too obsessed. I mean come on people, she just wears cute dresses! It's not that impressive...)

6. Keep Yourself From Becoming Too Stressed.

Stress happens. It's part of life. BUT if you have too much of it, your head will explode and you will die.

To relieve stress, do the following:

Take a bubble bath. If you don't have a tub, just get a bowl filled with soapy water and give your hand a bubble bath.

Punch Something. but not a person or a small animal or a large animal.

Cry. But only once. Watch that youtube video with the soldiers coming home to surprise their families and cry all your worries away. But once the video is over, put on your big girl panties and keep on truckin'!!

7. Don't Lose Hope

I know that preparing for finals week feels a lot like you're in Helm's Deep trying to defend yourself against a massive army of bloodthirsty Uruk's, but really, it's not as bad as you think. Keep going as long as you can, and just when you think you can't go any further, Eomer rides up, snatches you away, and the two of you make many beautiful babies together...

Really though, if you start feeling like a failure, you need to step back for a second and give yourself some "Me" time.

Put on cute panties, paint your toenails, listen to Justin Bieber, and get your groove back girl!!

You got this!!

Like my Literary hero Aibileen Clark would say:

"You is KIND. You is SMART. You is IMPORTANT."

Well my little turtledoves, there you have it.

The ultimate Finals Survival Guide.

Use it well.

Also...CHRISTMAS IS SOON!!!!!

The End.



Oh, Nothing... ;)

“What I like doing best is Nothing.”

“How do you do Nothing?,” asked Pooh after he had wondered for a long time.

“Well, it’s when people call out at you just as you’re going off to do it, ‘What are you going to do, Christopher Robin?’ and you say, 'Oh, Nothing,' and then you go and do it. It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

“Oh!” said Pooh."

 

I kind of have a sweet spot in my heart for Winnie the Pooh.

My dad read it to me when I was little.

I can remember sitting on his lap and falling asleep listening to his poorly attempted British accent telling me all the adventures of Christopher Robin and his friends in the Hundred-acre Wood.

It was good times.

And I loved it back then, but going back now that I'm older- I get so much more out of it. That A. A. Milne sure knew a lot about life.

 

Last night, my amazing roommate Elise and I found ourselves home alone, with absolutely no plans.

We decided, we were going to spend the whole night doing absolutely nothing.

 

It rocked.

 

We were wild, wild women.

(not to brag....but I rock with alliteration)

We ordered a pizza ONLINE

you can DO that with Domino's!

And it has this nifty little "tracker" that tells you when they bake your pizza, and when your deliveryman leaves the store.

If you pick the romantic themed one, a seductive sounding man says things to you like:

 

"I am baking this pizza with the fires of passion!"

"We are coming my love, and I will not rest until you taste this passionate pizza with your own lips!"

 

Best thing ever right???????

 

We also learned how to do the "Double Dream Hands" dance.

If you haven't ever seen it...look it up.

 

Once our passionate pizza arrived, we washed it down with shots of mineral water.

Mineral water is nasty. Don't drink it.

 

Then we doorbell ditched cookies to our neighbors,

single cookies.

Just to mix things up.

Like I said: We went wild.

 

THen we fell asleep watching the best T.V. show ever: FRIENDS

 

When people ask me what I did this weekend,

I will smile and tell them

"Oh, nothing"

 

And they'll have no idea how jealous they should be.

 

 

 

HOWLOWEEN

What a night!

Oh goodness y'all, no joke I had the time of my life.

Kind of.

Last night happened to be USU's annual incredibly amazing Halloween Party aka

{THE HOWL}

As my idol Stefan would say:

This place has everything!

Stilts

Rubber chickens

Men wearing nothing but fig leaves

And tons of freezing cold air.
Be jealous.

( Adorable McKenna, Gypsy Emily, and Me as a fairy)

The Howl was an adventure right from the start.
Me and my three friends walked the three blocks from my apartment to the building where The Howl was being held only to discover that to buy tickets we had to walk two and a half blocks away to the Basketball Stadium.
We scampered, fast like little rabbits, purchased ourselves some tickets, and then walked the two blocks back to the Howl.
Once we finally got in, holy poop it was a party.
The entire building was completely full of people,
they were EVERYWHERE!
Tall people, short people, fully clothed people, half naked people, more than half naked people, this place was crazy.
I had a bunch of friends who had gotten there earlier who wanted me to meet up with them at the dance, so on to the dance we went. It took us ten minutes to get in- the line was CRAZY, and when we finally did get in- things got even crazier.

Now when I see a crowd- I'm not the kind of girl who just dances on the edge- I dive right in. So we did. We were packed so tight in there that you could barely move, but we did our best and tried to dance. After a few minutes some guys came up and asked if they could dance with us, I said sure.
Big Mistake.
One of the guys grabbed my hips, pulled me super close to him, and proceeded to rub his hands all sorts of all over my butt.
Um. Awkward.
His friend was doing similar things to Emily who also felt her personal space bubble had just been popped to the max. The four of us girls sneaked away through the crowd, away from the Octopus men,
and right in the middle of a fist-fight.
'Twas scary my friends.
Very scary indeed.
Two very large men were both all sorts of upset and were being poorly restrained by their friends. One of them stepped on my foot.
It hurt.
Eventually they got calmed down, the dancing resumed, and me and my gals decided we'd had quite enough.
So we left.
And found this awesome snake man.

Holy poop y'all, we tote's loved that snake.
His name was Malfoy- which is most definitely one of the coolest snake names of all time.
Kudos snake man.

My BFF Jackie loved him too.

Also I love the snake-man's creeper face.

After we spent the better part of 20 minutes annoying the crap out of the snake man- we went and saw the band Cartel.

As you can clearly see, they are as a whole incredibly attractive.

Especially the adorable lead singer.

The concert was pretty much a blast, and they had their bass turned up so loud that my ears are still a little fuzzy.

It was good times.

When it was over, we decided we'd mostly had enough. So we mostly just meandered around.

then Then THEN!

-The greatest moment of my life happened:

That's right

I met the one

the only

Captain Jack Sparrow.

Basically, my life is now complete.

Be so jealous right now.

When we finally left the Howl, we spent 40 minutes searching all over 2 different parking terraces for Jackie's car. The dear, darling girl forgot where it was.

When we finally found it and were leaving the parking terrace, we saw a group of very attractive, very shirtless, very cold sailor's.

They saw us drive up, saw that we were girls, and begged us to drive them to their car.

We're nice, and they were babes.

So we did.

They were hilarious,

and I wish I had thought to take a picture so you could see just how gorgeous they were.

You'll just have to imagine as best you can.

So there you have it folks.

The Howl 2011

I'll see you there next year!

The End.

 

Captain Freaking America

So...I'm incredibly behind on the times

And barely saw Captain America.

I never had the time to see it in theaters

So I had to wait until now and let me tell you

I was missing out.

I absolutely loved it.

Captain America is awesome because despite all of his glorious (and I mean super-ultra-mega-glorious) ab muscles, and rippling pectoral muscles, and his gigantic arms that are bigger than me- he's really just an incredibly sweet, teeny guy that wants to help people.

Batman is awesome, but Bruce Wayne....kind of a douche.

Superman is Jesus. And an alien.

Spiderman is a wuss, Peter Parker doubly so.

Thor is a babe, but I think his hammer is kind of silly.

and Iron man is just a rich jerk.

I mean, they do good and all, but none of them are as innocently good as Captain America is.

If that makes sense.

They have all this power and all this money and all this spider venom and hammers and whatnot, so it's their duty to do good.

Captain America was doing good way back when he was just a teeny little nobody that got beat up all the time.

That's why I like him.

And the fact that Stanley Tucci transmogrifies him into a giant delicious hunk of man is merely a perk.

He was a superhero way before that.

If you haven't seen it yet,do it. Right now.

Right this second go buy it.

 You won't regret it.

The End



On Fire!

So remember my last post?

All sorts of whining and complaining about how bad of a person I am?

Let's just pretend that didn't happen.

I am a deeply flawed chicken,

but I apologize for making you listen to my silliness.

This week, I have turned over a new leaf.

I've been waking up early

(for me early is seven, don't judge)

I've actually gone to all of my classes

(I like to skip institute, I know- I'm a horrible sinner)

I've tried not to procrastinate on my homework

(which means doing it the night before instead of 20 minutes before)

I've been eating healthier

(except those cookies my roommate made. I couldn't resist)

I've been reading my scriptures

( 2nd Nephi baby!)

I've been exercising

(today I actually went to the gym! Me! The gym!!)

I know this prolly isn't a huge deal to all you people that are perfect. Especially since today is only Wednesday,but

I

Feel

Awesome.

I feel like I could wrestle an alligator

or climb Mt. Everest

or fly.

The End.

Before I'm Dead

So disclaimer:

{I LOVE LISTS}

Every chance I get to make a list, is a chance that I will take.

Today's list:

my bucket list.

Here goes:

1. Ride an Elephant
2. Live in China
3. Kiss someone on top of the Eiffel Tower
4. Get married
5. Eat escargot
6. Sing on stage
7. Get Johnny Depp's autograph
8. Get a teaching degree
9. Go skiing
10. Write a book
11. Own a snake
12. Name the snake "Gertrude"
13. Have a family
14. Go skinny dipping
15. Go to Harry Potter World
16. Go skydiving
17. Climb up a really really high mountain
18. Swim with sharks (but NEVER with dolphins)
19. Save someone's life
20. Solve a rubix cube in under a minute
21. Pet a real live tiger
22. See "The Killers" in concert
23. Fall in love (the epic kind)
24. Go to New Zealand (and all the places they filmed LOTR)
25. Make as many people as I can happy

But mostly, I guess, I just want to live a full enough life that I can look back at the end of it without regret. If I can do that, I'll be perfectly content.

BON VOYAGE!!

Some of you may judge me for the tale I'm about to tell.

Do it.

I don't give a flying fart in space.

Today, I was a participant in the great, the chaotic, the hilarious,

2011 Mouse-Boat Races!

Yes.
We bulit boats.

Put mice in them.

And raced them down a river.

This was my boat.

It is made out of styrofoam, popsicle sticks, ribbon, and hope.

It was without a doubt the cutest boat there.

Myself, and my fellow boat builders.

Our fearless seafarers

The captain readying his ship.

Our ship and sailor, readying for departure.

I didn't ever officially name our mouse,

but in retrospect... I like the sound of

Captain Whipwhiskers

And they're off!!!

Navigating through terrible rapids.

So far Cap'n Whipwhiskers is holding steady in second place.

Then, tragedy struck when the boat capsized.

We can only hope that the good Captain was wise enough to swim to shore.

If not, we mourn his loss.

This boat was the ultimate champion.

It's a big shoe box with water bottles stuck onto the bottom.

As far as rodent-vessels go- it was pretty much bad-A.

3 out of 5 mice-sailors made it out alive.

Cap'n Whipwhiskers and one other were the only casualties.

This brave youngster seems quite unphased by the whole ordeal.

Bless his little whiskered soul.

{All in All}

It was a hilarious endeavor that I thoroughly enjoyed.

If you are ever bored

And you have extra mice,

I heartily suggest that you do this.

THE END.

Magic in The Air

Today started out dreary.

I had to wake up at seven.

SEVEN!

I NEVER have to get up that early!!

I drug myself out of my bed,

frankenstein marched to the shower,

and then tried to stay awake while I shaved my legs.

The reason for my incredibly-too-early awakening,

was that I started volunteering to teach kindergarteners to read at the elementary school on campus.

Nothing is cuter than kindergarteners.

I read with a little girl named Lena who was wearing a hat shaped like a kitten.

She was adorable.

Also a little boy named Steven who thought his books were 

"super too" easy.

He was wearing camo pants and yellow crocs.

I loved them.

While they day was good, I only had two classes and nothing exciting happened in either one, I coudn't help but feel a little down in the dumps.

Summer is gone.

The warm sunshine is gone.

And while it is incredibly pathetic of me, I can't deny that I'm still a little disappointed in my lack of a romantic life.

One thing was for certain.

I wasn't feeling any magic.

But.

While I was sprawled out on my couch, eating ice cream and watching Sense and Sensibility, I glanced out the window and saw this:

The brightest, biggest, most beautiful rainbow I'd ever seen in my life.

It absolutely took my breath away...

The world is full of magic.

I'm glad nature took the time to help me see it.



I spy. At my house.

On this day, if you were to take a leisurely stroll through my apartment....

This is merely a taste of the wonders you would behold.

Haydn's ADORABLE owl salt and pepper shakers.

Chicken Tuscana with Angel Hair Pasta

(That I totally made myself)

The cutest and most delicious cupcakes in the world.

My roomies are the best bakers.

The top of Haydn's dresser in our room.

I think it looks like a magical land.

A mini-magical land.

Our Harry Potter cupboard.

The trapdoor under there does not lead to Narnia.

But it is very handy if we ever need to bug our neighbors!

Or hide dead bodies....

My sombrero. I'm almost positive that Richard Sharrah wears the exact same one in one of the Kid History episodes.

Since I'm going to marry him, I notice these things.

We used to call this the Ugly Corner.

Now we call it the nap corner, this chair makes for the comfiest naps of your life. no joke.

My roommate Elise painted the Audrey Hepburn painting.

I love it.

My fish Heathcliff Rochester Darcy's abode.

Yes, that is Squidward's house.

My fish are legit.

Some mostly-beautiful-but-also-slightly-terrifying art left on our fridge by our good friend Evan Kirby.

I added the mohawk.

A battle of love between my roomies Lea and Kristina.

And also Stargirl magnets.

{MOSTLY}

I love my apartment.

And my roomies.

And my life.

The End.



Ten Hut! :)

I know it's hard to believe,

But I haven't always been the incredibly attractive,happy, bubbly, giggly, friendly gal that I am now.

I used to be a very angry person.

I had been convinced by the people that I thought were my friends, that I was not good, or smart, or pretty, or rich enough to matter.

Ergo, was labeled as a "loser" and tossed in the social outcast heap.

For those of you who have been through similar situations,

You know how horrible this feels.

Feeling like you'll never be good enough for anyone or anything.

Wishing you could steal a certain wizard's invisibility cloak and never have to face your peers.

I was miserable.

I hated everything and everyone,

And I didn't know how to change it.

{Then}

I met this amazing girl who taught me probably the most important thing I've ever learned:

As long as you think you're hot stuff, other people's opinions aren't worth poop.

My life drastically changed.

For the first time in a really long time, I let myself be happy.

And it was great.

But.

I still hadn't found my place, my niche.

The place that I really, truly belonged.

And would always belong. 

As the summer before my sophomore year of high school started, I decided that I needed to do something different.

Take a risk.

Do something wild.

So, at the insistance of one of my friends, I joined the marching band.

From the moment I first stepped on the field,

I knew.

I had found my place.

All of these people had been through almost exactly the same things I had; they knew how I felt, knew what I was going through and they instantly accepted me into their gloriously dorky family.

Over the next three years, my band literally became my family.

I laughed with them

Cried with them

Partied with them

Went to prom with them

Spent hundreds of hours on cramped busses with them

And I loved every second of it.

Now we're all graduated and moved on.

Scattered across the globe by missions, marriage, and school.

And though it's been years since I've seen or spoken to some of them, I know that they're still my family.

And whether it's my wedding, my baby shower, or even just my birthday

I know they'll always be there.

Because that's what familes are for.

My marching Tigers, thank you so much for everything.

You'll never know hom much you changed my life.

I love you all.

My name is Brittany, and I am a ginger.

There are many words that have been used to describe me.

Daughter Friend Happy Weird

Lame Crazy BORING

Silly BFF bandtasmic whore

 Leprechaun DRUMMER wench

midget babe trekkie

sweet pirate AGGIE

 nerd MORMON roommate

Quite the list eh?

Well I'm not done yet, there is one more word that is used to describe me. It is used affectionately, disdainfully, discriminately, categorically, fearfully, and overly too often.

Over my almost-twenty years of life I have been called this almost as often as I've been called my own name.

That's right ladies and gentlemen.

I am

A

{Ginger}

According to my dictionary, "ginger" can mean any of the following:

• a reedlike plant, Zingiber officinale, native to the East Indies but now cultivated in most tropical countries, having a pungent, spicy rhizome used in cookery and medicine.
• piquancy; animation: plenty of ginger in their performance of the dance.
• a yellowish or reddish brown

According to urbandictionary.com, a ginger is described as:

A human, characterized by pale skin, freckles and bright red hair. "Gingers" are generally considered to be inferior to their more melanin-rich brethren, and thus deservingly discriminated against. Gingers are thought to have no souls. The condition, "gingervitis" is genetic and incurable. Since there is obviously some discrepancy here, I think it is my duty as a proud Ginger to set the record straight. {Gingers are awesome} My proof?

See? the ginger category is where many of the coolest people in the world reside, myself included.
And yes: I can't walk outside without spf 9000 sunscreen on, I can play dot-to-dot with my freckles, I can't wear pink, and I am constantly mocked by the rest of society.
BUT
I think it a small price to pay to be this awesome.

AND
 I have been told at least 1789046352.12 times that I have the most beautiful hair in the world and that I should never dye it.

My conclusion?
All you haters out there are just jealous.
Because gingers are sexier than you.
Ha.

HA HA HA!

{The End}





Ketchup (Get it, like Catch-Up?)

Sorry again y'all. School is sucking away my soul (in a good way) so I've been horribly lax in my posting this month. I do have some news for you guys though....


I MADE USU's BIG BAND SWING DANCE TEAM!!!!!!!!

Feel free to offer me tokens of your admiration preferably in the form of money, colorful tights, or smoothies.

I had my first official "Swing Team" meeting last night and I could not be more excited! I am one of eight members on the "elite" competition team which is cleverly named "Swingcopation" and I will be traveling to Salt Lake, Provo, Colorado, and possibly Iowa to compete for USU! This is literally a dream come true for me, and I am SOOO FREAKING HAPPY!!!

Other than that, my life is pretty lame.
I go to class, I come home from class, I eat, I study, I play my guitar, and I party like a rock star with my roomies. Basically the  typical life of every college student.

My classes this semester are pretty bomb (yes, I totally just said that) I'm taking Chinese 1010 which I LOVE!!!! I can totally ask you how you are and how your family is doing in Chinese now. And I can sing a really cheesy 80's love song called "The Moon Represents My Heart" I feel so in touch with my Inner-Asian because of this class. Pretty soon I'm going to only eat rice and fish and all my clothes will have Hello Kitty on them.

My other classes are pretty awesome too- my Intro to Elementary Education professor is this adorable older lady named Dorothy. We get to sing songs, read books, and color. No joke. It's the best thing of my life. I'm also taking an FCHD Development Across The LIfespan class that is mostly pretty boring, but I entertain myself by debating whether or not the professor is gay, and also immenesly enjoying how much he looks like a meerkat.

That's pretty much it so far....sorry it's not more exciting. I'll try to do better.

THe ENd.

Note To Shelf....I Rock.

Just an FYI.

In this post I am going to be tooting my own horn.

This is my blog, I'm allowed to do that.

Remember when I told you guys that my apartment is super small?

Well, I totally meant it.

We still have two girls that need to move in, and there is no space.

Especially in the kitchen.

I don't even have hardly any food, and I was taking up almost half the cupboard space, my roommate Haydn is a crazy baker woman and has enough baking stuff to fill up three kitchens. It was a problem.

So.

Today.

Myself and Haydn set out on a mission.

We were going to find some shelves that we could put in our kitchen, so that there was actually some space for everyone's food. We left the safe haven of our teeny apartment and ventured out into the great unkown, into the wild wilderness of shopping centers located in the Cache Valley area.

Our journey first took us to Hobby Lobby. I fetching LOVE this place. I want to have 18 houses that I can fill up with all the cute stuff from this store. Also IKEA. We walked that store up and down...and also sideways. But despite our greatest efforts, no suitable shelves were found. We found some really super cute ones, and we wanted them....but then we realized that we're poor...and we still need to buy groceries...so we moved on.

Our second endeavor led us to ROSS. This is another store that I have much affection for. When you are in college, and you love to buy clothes- ROSS is comparable to the Merry Old Land Of Oz. You can get super cute shirts there for like five bucks! It rocks.

Unfortunately, they don't really have shelves.

'Twas a bummer.

After ROSS, we headed to Michael's, sure that they would have what we were looking for. It turns out...they didn't. We found diddly squat at that place and we were starting to get discouraged. We wanted our shelves dang it!!! We then went to ShopKo. Also Diddly-Squat. Then, Haydn recalled that her grandmother suggested we take our journey to K-Mart. Neither of us had ever shopped there ever, so we were a little skeptical, but decided we had nothing left to lose.

We walked into K-Mart, browsed around for a bit, and then do you know what we found??? We found the coolest thing ever, it was a lamp shaped like one of the cute little green aliens from Toy Story. I was in awe. Also....WE FOUND SHELVES!!!! They're just simple little white storage unit shelves, but they're cute, they work, AND they were only 15 bucks! We scored.

Big Time.

We then scurried home like little rabbits, because we wanted to get our shelves put together before Haydn had to go to work. We unpackaged them, read the instructions, and then realized one major flaw in our shelf-building plans.

We don't have tools.

None at all.

We're women. Building things is not our forte, so it didn't even occur to us to bring something like a screwdriver to college.

That's what men are for.

So, we went to all the apartments around ours trying to find ANYONE with a screwdriver. 20 minutes and 8 apartments later, we finally found one. A very nice gentleman named Cliff lent us his very nifty Phillips-Head screwdriver and we were back in business!!

I took us all of 15 minutes, and we had our shelves. They look awesome, we put them together the right way and everything!

I've never built anything before in my life, except legos...so this was a huge deal for me!! I am so proud of myself it's not even funny.

Not even a little bit.

Moral of this story: Gingers get things done!!

The End.