Especially After That Lovely Eulogy...

Well folks,

Christmas is over.

I hope your holidays were as good as mine,

Because mine were fetching awesome.

I don't mean to brag or anything,

But my family Pernones N00bs at Christmas.

I am now the proud owner of my own beautiful, splendid, darling ukulele. And I have not stopped playing it since Christmas Day.

Literally.

I'm playing it right now.

Like while I'm typing I'm also playing my ukulele.

You only wish you were that skilled.

I also recieved Call of Duty Black Ops! As you all should know, I am very much a lover of Call of Duty. I suck at it, but I love it all the same. As of now I have already assassinated a fake Fidel Castro and started a mass breakout from a Prison.

Basically, I just rock at life.

Sadly though, the joys of Christmas were halted very abruptly this morning.

Remember those suicidal fish my sister brought home last week?

Well.

I was helping my sister clean out their bowl this morning, when one of the fish jumped out of the bowl, careened out of control down a raging river of death...

....and fell into the garbage disposal.

This whole scene was of course much more intense when you know that my sister and were screaming like ninnies the entire time.

Our shrill shrieking did nothing to change the fact that Izzy The Fish had come to her end.

We brought our other sister into the kitchen and had a small impromptu service for dear Izzy, where we celebrated her memory and hoped that her little fishy soul would find peace in the Sewer Beyond.

We then dried our tears,

(hypothetically of course, we're not that silly)

put on our brave faces,

and returned to our lives.

And we're all afraid to turn on the garbage disposal.

The End.

The Tale of the Suicidal Fish

Here's the news,

My dadd's surgery? It went awesome.

His clavacle is now reattached to his shoulder

and he has a super cool sling.

And he's on lots of drugs, which means he's been having a LOT of fun playing Lego video games.

Here's more news,

My sister Kaitlyn came home yesterday with two little teeny fish that one of her friends didn't want anymore.

If you know anything about me, you will know that I

FETCHING LOVE FISH

So I was really excited.

I put them in a super cute vase/bowl with super cute rocks at the bottom, and helped my sister name them.

I really wanted to call them Kili and Fili after the dwarves from The Hobbit (BTW have you seen the trailer???) 

But Kaitlyn didn't really like that.

So.

After much deliberation we named the Izzy and Andrea after the two amazing German Exchange Students that we had live with us for a little while. They were adorable, and we miss them a lot.

After we named them, weird things started happening.

Firstly, I was just walking past their little fishbowl/vase and I tapped on the glass like I always do with my fish back in Logan. Andrea flipped a freakig biscuit. I guess she thought she was being attacked by aliens or raped by a dolphin because she tried to jump to her death and landed flopping around on the table.

Luckily, I quickly scooped her up and put her back in the bowl.

Then I emptied a bunch of the water out so she couldn't jump out again.

The rest of the night proved uneventful fishwise. We rented Crazy Stupid Love and it became my new favorite movie and made me fall even more madly in love with Ryan Gosling. I know it's hard to believe that he can get any sexier after The Notebook, but I assure you it can be done.

This morning I was rudely awakened by my sister and had to fight tooth and nail to stay in my nice warm bed. She finally have up a little bit and went upstairs where she started freaking out about her fish.

Apparantly Andrea was still traumatized about the possibility of dolphin rape and really didn't want to live because she had some how burrowed under all the little rocks at the bottom of the bowl and gotten trapped. I decided I could justify getting out of bed to save the life of a fish, and rushed to help.

My youngest sister Annika was attempting to pull out all of the rocks on top of Andrea with some salad tongs.

Amatuer.

I pulled out all of those rocks with my bear hands

( Yes, I used "bear" on purpose )

And I freed that little suicidal fish.

Not going to lie, I felt a little bit like Superman.

Or at least Aquaman.

It rocked.

The End.



Kindasorta Near Death Experience

Today. Is a big day.

Not because Tom Felton (aka Draco Malfoy)

finally realized that though we have never met,

or spoken, or seen each other ever: we are soulmates.

But don't worry, I'm sure he'll realize sometime.

No.

Today is a big day because my Daddy

aka

THE TITAN OF TESTOSTERONE

is having surgery.

frowny face.

My daddy the Titan, was doing a 25 hour Mt. Bike relay race down in St. George a li'l while ago, and he crashed and tore the ligament that connects his clavacle to his shoulder.

So now, he has to get some ligament taken out of his leg, and put in his shoulder to make his clavacle stop movin around all weird all the time.

He went in for surgery at 7 this morning, so I imagine he's under the knife as we speak.

I hope it's going well.

My daddy is a big tough guy, so I imagine he'll be ok.

Since my parents are both at the hospital this morning, I was assigned the task of taking my sisters to school.

So. I had to get up at 7.

Which is so. so. so. early for me

and drive to their respective institutions of education.

One thing about me that will make this story make more sense is this:

I Hate Driving.

I don't really know why, but it really stresses me out.

Also I'm bad at it.

I had to take the Driver's Test 3 times before I got my license.

Anywhoo...

I'm at the High School dropping off my sister. She gets out of the car and skeedaddles into the building.

I turn around and start heading to the Jr. High to drop off my other sister and her friend that we picked up along the way.

I'm driving, listening to Kelly Clarkson, rocking out a little bit,

when some stupid yuppie in a Mini Cooper pulls out right in front of me without looking.

I screamed a little bit and swerved out of the way of the Cooper Idiot, a steady stream of profanities exiting my mouth as I struggled not to crash into anything.

Then.

We were safe.

I spent a good deal of time verbally abusing said Mini Cooper Yuppie, and sped away from the High school.

And my little sister and her friend were looking at me like I was a jellyfish. Or something else that is shocking like a jellyfish.

I instantly felt super sheepish.

Apologized for my foul language, and dropped them off at school.

I made it the rest of the way home without further incident, and with quite a bit of rocking out to Katy Perry.

I am now anxiously awaiting the arrival of my invalid father.

He gets super funny when he's on painkillers,

I'm excited to see how loopy he his!

Drive safe,

Tip your waitresses,

THe ENd.

R-R-Redo!

So.

Sometimes you look at your life,

and some things need some change.

Sometimes it's big things, like your address, your major, or your last name.

Sometimes it's little things, like which side you part your hair on, or what color you paint your toenails.

And sometimes.

It's inbetweeny things like tote's redesigning your blog.

That's right Ladies and Gents, Illumination Apparatus is no more. Not because there was anything wrong with it, I was just ready for a change.

Hopefully you like it,

but if you don't....

I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

So.

Other than this cute li'l switcheroo I did, there's not much that has been going on in my life.

Finals are over and done, and I'm spending my break in good ol' Ogden with my good ol' family.

I forget how much I love being home while I'm in Logan, then every time I come home I remember how much I just love it here.

My house is just so comfy and it always smells like pine trees and my dad's bread.

I just love it.

I love home.

Also, I love Christmas!

Last Sunday I had a little mini Christmas with my roommates, it was adorable. We all pitched in together to make a delicious dinner, and then we all crammed around our pathetically small table and ate and laughed together.

We've all been through a lot this semester, and it was so nice for us all to just be able to relax and forget about all our problems and just be happy for a little while.

That's what I love most about Christmas, it's a chance to forget about all the hate and the sadness that we're subjected constantly to in this world, and just focus on love, and giving, and happiness. Christmas is like summer break, but for the soul.

Have a Merry Christmas Guys!!



How To Survive Finals Week:

{This Post is Dedicated To My Dear Friend Taylor VanBibber Because He's A Stud And I Love Him}

All right my dear friends,

It is the time of year where I apologize for being such a bad blogger

And also give you some

probably hilarious

possibly effective

tips for surviving finals.

1. Eat Cookie Dough.

Eat a lot of cookie dough. Eat nothing but cookie dough.

Fill your entire fridge with different varieties: Chocolate, chocolate chip, white chocolate macadamia nut, sugar cookies.

Heck, just get a pack of double-stuffed oreos, a tub of frosting, and eat your heart out.

Literally.

{WARNING: MAY INDUCE SUGAR RUSH}

2. Flash Cards.

Take your textbook, and copy every chapter you're going to be tested on, onto flash cards. Important vocabulary words get their own card, but all the filler crap you can just cram onto random cards and then burn them maliciously.

But. Don't burn them in your apartment. Otherwise the smoke detector will go off and since you're short, you'll have to drag a chair all the way across your apartment to turn it off.

3. Watch Big Bang Theory.

While you're studying, while you're not studying, while you're sleeping, while you're not sleeping, while you're eating, and while you're at the grocery store.

This show is dynamite.

Not only is it hilarious, full of adorable adorable ADORABLE nerd-men, but- they talk about smart things.

When you listen to smart things, you get smarter.

Ergo, if you watch Big Bang Theory, you will become a crazy-genius and be able to pass your finals in your sleep.

{WARNING: ATTEMPTING TO TAKE YOUR FINALS IN YOUR SLEEP MAY RESULT IN FAILURE}

4. Keep Your Brain Stimulated.

If you let your brain rest, everything you've been studying will puddle around and fall out of your ears while you're not looking. So, here are a few things that I have found keep me focused and un-puddly.

When you're becoming distracted, start counting your fingers. Backwards. 

Try to tip a cup over with your mind (Like Matilda)

Play Minesweeper (Learn the rules though, it's not just a really hard guessing game...)

5. Listen to Asian Music.

Asians are smart and attractive.

It is a secret theory of mine that they have secret telepathic messages encoded in their music that make you smarter.

Either that, or their trying to brainwash everyone into liking   Hello Kitty.

(I'm not saying that I don't like Hello Kitty, I just think that the asians are just a little too obsessed. I mean come on people, she just wears cute dresses! It's not that impressive...)

6. Keep Yourself From Becoming Too Stressed.

Stress happens. It's part of life. BUT if you have too much of it, your head will explode and you will die.

To relieve stress, do the following:

Take a bubble bath. If you don't have a tub, just get a bowl filled with soapy water and give your hand a bubble bath.

Punch Something. but not a person or a small animal or a large animal.

Cry. But only once. Watch that youtube video with the soldiers coming home to surprise their families and cry all your worries away. But once the video is over, put on your big girl panties and keep on truckin'!!

7. Don't Lose Hope

I know that preparing for finals week feels a lot like you're in Helm's Deep trying to defend yourself against a massive army of bloodthirsty Uruk's, but really, it's not as bad as you think. Keep going as long as you can, and just when you think you can't go any further, Eomer rides up, snatches you away, and the two of you make many beautiful babies together...

Really though, if you start feeling like a failure, you need to step back for a second and give yourself some "Me" time.

Put on cute panties, paint your toenails, listen to Justin Bieber, and get your groove back girl!!

You got this!!

Like my Literary hero Aibileen Clark would say:

"You is KIND. You is SMART. You is IMPORTANT."

Well my little turtledoves, there you have it.

The ultimate Finals Survival Guide.

Use it well.

Also...CHRISTMAS IS SOON!!!!!

The End.



Merely Players

All the world's a Stage,
And all the men and women merely players.

-Billy Shakespeare

Do you guys ever watch movies and notice just the random people in the background? The ones listed in the credits as "Screaming guy 3" or "Guy in bar"?

I love those people.

And if someone made a movie of my life,

(I know it's never going to happen, but I'm just saying, it would be a great movie)

these are the people that would be the random guys in the background.

Cast

In order of Appearance

Bow-Tie Professor

In my head, his name is Eustace.

Or Winthrop.

Or maybe Xavier.

I always see him walking around campus, and I want to find out what he teaches just so I can take a class from him.

He looks kind of like this:

With a beard like this:

(minus the luscious curly locks)

He wears hats like this:

And Glasses like this:

And last but not least,

A bow tie like this:

I know what you're thinking,

coolest professor EVER right???

That's what I think every time I see him.

He is the coolest man I've ever seen.

Tall, Skinny, Bald Guy

I see this guy everywhere.

The shuttle, by my Chinese Class, by my Math class,

this man is all over the place.

He looks kinda like this guy:

But bald.

I find him fascinating.

I imagine his hame is Bernard,

and that he acts like Sheldon Cooper.

There's also,

Too Much Denim Cowboy Man

Scowling Asian

Who Do You Think You're Kidding Trashy Skank Girl

I mean COME ON, trying to wear crap like this around campus is just sad.

And the only guys you're getting are the douchbags the rest of us are too good for.

Intriguing Barefoot Leather Pouch Man

This guy is actually VERY attractive, but he never wears shoes.

He's always wearing either gym shorts or sweat pants,

And he is always wearing this little leather pouch around his neck.

The pouch is definitely what I find most intriguing,

what the heck does he keep in there?

I come up with various theories when I'm bored,

things like:

The ashes of a Native American Shaaman

A shark tooth

The souls of his ancestors

Beef Jerky

Interesting Rocks

and

A tiny dragon egg.

I haven't yet mustered the courage to ask him,

but one day I will.

These people may just be "extras" in my life, but the great thing about life- is that everyone is the lead character in their own story.

I'm sure all of us are just extra's to other people, but I think the fact that we get to play even a minor roll in the lives of everyone that we meet is kind of magical.

I just hope that I'm the kind of extra that people notice versus the kind that just fade into the background.

Oh, Nothing... ;)

“What I like doing best is Nothing.”

“How do you do Nothing?,” asked Pooh after he had wondered for a long time.

“Well, it’s when people call out at you just as you’re going off to do it, ‘What are you going to do, Christopher Robin?’ and you say, 'Oh, Nothing,' and then you go and do it. It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

“Oh!” said Pooh."

 

I kind of have a sweet spot in my heart for Winnie the Pooh.

My dad read it to me when I was little.

I can remember sitting on his lap and falling asleep listening to his poorly attempted British accent telling me all the adventures of Christopher Robin and his friends in the Hundred-acre Wood.

It was good times.

And I loved it back then, but going back now that I'm older- I get so much more out of it. That A. A. Milne sure knew a lot about life.

 

Last night, my amazing roommate Elise and I found ourselves home alone, with absolutely no plans.

We decided, we were going to spend the whole night doing absolutely nothing.

 

It rocked.

 

We were wild, wild women.

(not to brag....but I rock with alliteration)

We ordered a pizza ONLINE

you can DO that with Domino's!

And it has this nifty little "tracker" that tells you when they bake your pizza, and when your deliveryman leaves the store.

If you pick the romantic themed one, a seductive sounding man says things to you like:

 

"I am baking this pizza with the fires of passion!"

"We are coming my love, and I will not rest until you taste this passionate pizza with your own lips!"

 

Best thing ever right???????

 

We also learned how to do the "Double Dream Hands" dance.

If you haven't ever seen it...look it up.

 

Once our passionate pizza arrived, we washed it down with shots of mineral water.

Mineral water is nasty. Don't drink it.

 

Then we doorbell ditched cookies to our neighbors,

single cookies.

Just to mix things up.

Like I said: We went wild.

 

THen we fell asleep watching the best T.V. show ever: FRIENDS

 

When people ask me what I did this weekend,

I will smile and tell them

"Oh, nothing"

 

And they'll have no idea how jealous they should be.

 

 

 

I am Learned

Lately, I've been looking back on my life,

and seeing all the things I've done and learned that have shaped me into who I am today.

Things like:

Girls are mean idiots

Boys are mean idiots

Sisters rock

Your parents really do know a lot more than you give them credit for

Love is more powerful than horcruxes

Books are better than movies

Holding hands with boys is nice

Kissing them is nice too

Sometimes crying is ok

Sometimes laughing is better

Sometimes the things that are hardest are the most worthwhile

People die, but goodbyes don't last forever

Best friends are better than dollars

and

Families are the best things in the world.

These are things that I have learned across my entire life. Not all of them have been easy to learn, but I am glad to know them all.

Since I have moved out, and met life head-on here at Utah State, I have learned many more important things about life.

Including:

Boys are still idiots

Anything tastes better when you drink it out of a shot glass

(now don't worry I only drink non-alcoholic shots- usually Dr. Pepper)

Hot Rod is a great movie

It is possible (though not at all recommended) to live solely off of potato chips and ramen noodles

Mice can swim

Jane Austen is always a good idea

Riding from St. George to Las Vegas on the back of a motorcycle is NEVER a good idea.

Even many miles can't sever the strongest friendships

Wal-Mart is easy to memorize

The best Ben&Jerrys ice cream is the strawberry cheesecake

Playing the guitar is lots of fun

500 Days of Summer is the best movie in the world

Happy Meals are just the right size

Bonfires are epic

4 Wheeling is all sorts of fun

Jeeping is too

 Sometimes doing nothing ends up being the most fun

Logan is cold

Swing dancing is the best

Sometimes, you have to do horrible things to sheep

Potato chips, Grapes, and Frosting are a surprisingly delicious combination

Pinterest is ridiculously addictive

Random boys that ask for your number are 87% of the time just total creeps

Aggie Basketball is the best thing ever

Money sucks

Never let the viewing of "Charly" and PMS ever occur at the same time

Boys are afraid of rats

Your roomies will be there for you no matter what

Years go by a lot faster than they did when you were little

Don't take free laundry for granted

Being single is ok

Life is too short to spend it moping

Dancing in the rain is actually a lot of fun

and

Families will always be the best things in the world

The End



HOWLOWEEN

What a night!

Oh goodness y'all, no joke I had the time of my life.

Kind of.

Last night happened to be USU's annual incredibly amazing Halloween Party aka

{THE HOWL}

As my idol Stefan would say:

This place has everything!

Stilts

Rubber chickens

Men wearing nothing but fig leaves

And tons of freezing cold air.
Be jealous.

( Adorable McKenna, Gypsy Emily, and Me as a fairy)

The Howl was an adventure right from the start.
Me and my three friends walked the three blocks from my apartment to the building where The Howl was being held only to discover that to buy tickets we had to walk two and a half blocks away to the Basketball Stadium.
We scampered, fast like little rabbits, purchased ourselves some tickets, and then walked the two blocks back to the Howl.
Once we finally got in, holy poop it was a party.
The entire building was completely full of people,
they were EVERYWHERE!
Tall people, short people, fully clothed people, half naked people, more than half naked people, this place was crazy.
I had a bunch of friends who had gotten there earlier who wanted me to meet up with them at the dance, so on to the dance we went. It took us ten minutes to get in- the line was CRAZY, and when we finally did get in- things got even crazier.

Now when I see a crowd- I'm not the kind of girl who just dances on the edge- I dive right in. So we did. We were packed so tight in there that you could barely move, but we did our best and tried to dance. After a few minutes some guys came up and asked if they could dance with us, I said sure.
Big Mistake.
One of the guys grabbed my hips, pulled me super close to him, and proceeded to rub his hands all sorts of all over my butt.
Um. Awkward.
His friend was doing similar things to Emily who also felt her personal space bubble had just been popped to the max. The four of us girls sneaked away through the crowd, away from the Octopus men,
and right in the middle of a fist-fight.
'Twas scary my friends.
Very scary indeed.
Two very large men were both all sorts of upset and were being poorly restrained by their friends. One of them stepped on my foot.
It hurt.
Eventually they got calmed down, the dancing resumed, and me and my gals decided we'd had quite enough.
So we left.
And found this awesome snake man.

Holy poop y'all, we tote's loved that snake.
His name was Malfoy- which is most definitely one of the coolest snake names of all time.
Kudos snake man.

My BFF Jackie loved him too.

Also I love the snake-man's creeper face.

After we spent the better part of 20 minutes annoying the crap out of the snake man- we went and saw the band Cartel.

As you can clearly see, they are as a whole incredibly attractive.

Especially the adorable lead singer.

The concert was pretty much a blast, and they had their bass turned up so loud that my ears are still a little fuzzy.

It was good times.

When it was over, we decided we'd mostly had enough. So we mostly just meandered around.

then Then THEN!

-The greatest moment of my life happened:

That's right

I met the one

the only

Captain Jack Sparrow.

Basically, my life is now complete.

Be so jealous right now.

When we finally left the Howl, we spent 40 minutes searching all over 2 different parking terraces for Jackie's car. The dear, darling girl forgot where it was.

When we finally found it and were leaving the parking terrace, we saw a group of very attractive, very shirtless, very cold sailor's.

They saw us drive up, saw that we were girls, and begged us to drive them to their car.

We're nice, and they were babes.

So we did.

They were hilarious,

and I wish I had thought to take a picture so you could see just how gorgeous they were.

You'll just have to imagine as best you can.

So there you have it folks.

The Howl 2011

I'll see you there next year!

The End.

 

Captain Freaking America

So...I'm incredibly behind on the times

And barely saw Captain America.

I never had the time to see it in theaters

So I had to wait until now and let me tell you

I was missing out.

I absolutely loved it.

Captain America is awesome because despite all of his glorious (and I mean super-ultra-mega-glorious) ab muscles, and rippling pectoral muscles, and his gigantic arms that are bigger than me- he's really just an incredibly sweet, teeny guy that wants to help people.

Batman is awesome, but Bruce Wayne....kind of a douche.

Superman is Jesus. And an alien.

Spiderman is a wuss, Peter Parker doubly so.

Thor is a babe, but I think his hammer is kind of silly.

and Iron man is just a rich jerk.

I mean, they do good and all, but none of them are as innocently good as Captain America is.

If that makes sense.

They have all this power and all this money and all this spider venom and hammers and whatnot, so it's their duty to do good.

Captain America was doing good way back when he was just a teeny little nobody that got beat up all the time.

That's why I like him.

And the fact that Stanley Tucci transmogrifies him into a giant delicious hunk of man is merely a perk.

He was a superhero way before that.

If you haven't seen it yet,do it. Right now.

Right this second go buy it.

 You won't regret it.

The End



On Fire!

So remember my last post?

All sorts of whining and complaining about how bad of a person I am?

Let's just pretend that didn't happen.

I am a deeply flawed chicken,

but I apologize for making you listen to my silliness.

This week, I have turned over a new leaf.

I've been waking up early

(for me early is seven, don't judge)

I've actually gone to all of my classes

(I like to skip institute, I know- I'm a horrible sinner)

I've tried not to procrastinate on my homework

(which means doing it the night before instead of 20 minutes before)

I've been eating healthier

(except those cookies my roommate made. I couldn't resist)

I've been reading my scriptures

( 2nd Nephi baby!)

I've been exercising

(today I actually went to the gym! Me! The gym!!)

I know this prolly isn't a huge deal to all you people that are perfect. Especially since today is only Wednesday,but

I

Feel

Awesome.

I feel like I could wrestle an alligator

or climb Mt. Everest

or fly.

The End.

I Am One Deeply Flawed Chicken

I need to be better you guys.

I need to be kinder

More patient

More dedicated

More giving.

I need to spend more time exercising

and doing homework

And much much MUCH less time

on pinterest

And facebook

and youtube

and netflix.

I need to eat more vegetables

And less sour cream and onion lays

no matter how delicious they are.

I need to stop gossiping.

Take a leaf out of my good friend Thumper's book

And only say kind things about others.

I need to spend less time wishing I lived in Middle Earth,

or at Hogwarts,

or in a Jane Austen novel.

I need to stop biting my fingernails.

I need to stop whining and pouting about my lack of a love life.

And just suck it up missy.

I need to stop sleeping in until 10 every day,

and actually do something with my life.

I need to be more organized.

I need to stop buying clothes instead of groceries.

I need to stop staying up until one in the morning.

I need to finish the things I start.

Ugh.

I am one deeply flawed chicken.



Prose

I know y'all are probably sick of me posting silly poems on here,

but this is my blog.

So.

Tough nuggets.

I haven't come up with a title for this one yet,

but here goes:

Here I stand

Yep.

Two feet firmly planted

Holding up two legs

with the rest of me balanced on top.

Anyone could look at me and say,

"That girl, she's standing"

"But what?"

I ask myself

"Am I standing for?"

Freedom? Equality?

Faith?

Life?

The right to bear arms?

The right to bare arms?

Or simply the right

To be happy

And do my best

To make others happy

Too.

I only hope

That whatever I stand for

Is important enough to someone

that they will one day

find this place

And say

Maybe to a friend

to a grandchild

Or just softly to themselves,

It was here.

Here, she stood.

 

Before I'm Dead

So disclaimer:

{I LOVE LISTS}

Every chance I get to make a list, is a chance that I will take.

Today's list:

my bucket list.

Here goes:

1. Ride an Elephant
2. Live in China
3. Kiss someone on top of the Eiffel Tower
4. Get married
5. Eat escargot
6. Sing on stage
7. Get Johnny Depp's autograph
8. Get a teaching degree
9. Go skiing
10. Write a book
11. Own a snake
12. Name the snake "Gertrude"
13. Have a family
14. Go skinny dipping
15. Go to Harry Potter World
16. Go skydiving
17. Climb up a really really high mountain
18. Swim with sharks (but NEVER with dolphins)
19. Save someone's life
20. Solve a rubix cube in under a minute
21. Pet a real live tiger
22. See "The Killers" in concert
23. Fall in love (the epic kind)
24. Go to New Zealand (and all the places they filmed LOTR)
25. Make as many people as I can happy

But mostly, I guess, I just want to live a full enough life that I can look back at the end of it without regret. If I can do that, I'll be perfectly content.

BON VOYAGE!!

Some of you may judge me for the tale I'm about to tell.

Do it.

I don't give a flying fart in space.

Today, I was a participant in the great, the chaotic, the hilarious,

2011 Mouse-Boat Races!

Yes.
We bulit boats.

Put mice in them.

And raced them down a river.

This was my boat.

It is made out of styrofoam, popsicle sticks, ribbon, and hope.

It was without a doubt the cutest boat there.

Myself, and my fellow boat builders.

Our fearless seafarers

The captain readying his ship.

Our ship and sailor, readying for departure.

I didn't ever officially name our mouse,

but in retrospect... I like the sound of

Captain Whipwhiskers

And they're off!!!

Navigating through terrible rapids.

So far Cap'n Whipwhiskers is holding steady in second place.

Then, tragedy struck when the boat capsized.

We can only hope that the good Captain was wise enough to swim to shore.

If not, we mourn his loss.

This boat was the ultimate champion.

It's a big shoe box with water bottles stuck onto the bottom.

As far as rodent-vessels go- it was pretty much bad-A.

3 out of 5 mice-sailors made it out alive.

Cap'n Whipwhiskers and one other were the only casualties.

This brave youngster seems quite unphased by the whole ordeal.

Bless his little whiskered soul.

{All in All}

It was a hilarious endeavor that I thoroughly enjoyed.

If you are ever bored

And you have extra mice,

I heartily suggest that you do this.

THE END.